Nobody teaches you how to write the hardest email of your professional life. You sit there, cursor blinking on a blank screen, trying to find words that somehow make sense of the impossible.
Your phone keeps buzzing with work notifications while your heart breaks into pieces. The deadline that seemed so important yesterday now feels meaningless, but you still need to let your boss know what’s happening.
Writing to your employer about a death in the family shouldn’t add stress to an already overwhelming situation. Yet finding the right balance between professional courtesy and personal grief can feel like walking a tightrope.
These carefully crafted sample letters will guide you through different scenarios and help you communicate your needs clearly while maintaining your professional relationships during one of life’s most challenging moments.
Sample Letters of Bereavement to Employer
These examples cover various situations and relationship dynamics you might encounter. Each letter strikes the right tone while addressing your specific circumstances.
1. Immediate Family Member – Direct and Professional
Subject: Bereavement Leave Request – [Your Name]
[Insert recipient’s address]
Dear [Manager’s Name],
I am writing to inform you of the sudden passing of my father on [date]. Due to this unexpected loss, I will need to take bereavement leave starting immediately.
I anticipate being away from work for [number] days to handle funeral arrangements and be with my family during this difficult time. I expect to return to work on [date], though I may need additional time depending on circumstances.
I have briefed [colleague’s name] on my current projects and urgent matters. Please contact them for any immediate concerns. I will check emails periodically but may not respond to non-urgent matters.
Thank you for your understanding during this challenging time.
Sincerely, [Your name and position]
2. Extended Family Member – Warm and Personal
Subject: Family Emergency – Need for Bereavement Leave
[Recipient’s address]
Dear [Supervisor’s Name],
I hope this message finds you well, though I wish I were writing under better circumstances. My beloved grandmother, who raised me after my parents’ divorce, passed away peacefully yesterday evening.
She was more than a grandmother to me – she was my second mother, my biggest cheerleader, and my source of strength. I need to travel to [location] to help with arrangements and support my family.
I’m requesting bereavement leave from [start date] through [end date]. I’ve already coordinated with [team member’s name] to cover my responsibilities, and I’ve prepared detailed handover notes for all active projects.
I appreciate your patience and support as my family and I navigate this loss. Please let me know if you need any additional information.
With gratitude, [Sender’s name and role]
3. Sudden Loss – Brief and Urgent
Subject: Emergency Bereavement Leave Required
[Insert recipient’s address]
[Manager’s Name],
My spouse died unexpectedly last night. I need immediate bereavement leave starting today.
I will be in touch within the next few days to discuss timeline and next steps. [Colleague’s name] has my project files and can handle urgent matters.
Thank you.
[Your name and title]
4. Pet Loss – Compassionate Request
Subject: Request for Personal Leave
[Recipient’s address]
Dear [Supervisor’s Name],
I’m writing to request personal time off following the loss of my dog, Max, who passed away yesterday after a long illness. While I understand this may not fall under traditional bereavement leave, Max has been my companion for twelve years and his loss has deeply affected me.
I would like to take [number] days to process this loss and handle his final arrangements. I recognize that pet bereavement isn’t typically covered by company policy, and I’m happy to use personal days or unpaid leave.
I’ve arranged for [colleague’s name] to handle my immediate responsibilities and have updated all project statuses. I believe taking this brief time will allow me to return fully focused and productive.
I appreciate your consideration of my request during this difficult time.
Best regards, [Insert your name and designation]
5. Multiple Losses – Seeking Extended Support
Subject: Extended Bereavement Leave Request
[Recipient’s address]
Dear [HR Manager’s Name] and [Direct Supervisor’s Name],
I am facing an extraordinarily difficult situation that requires your understanding and support. Within the past month, I have lost both my mother and my brother in separate incidents. The grief has been overwhelming, and I find myself unable to perform at my usual standard.
I am formally requesting extended bereavement leave beyond our standard policy. I understand this is unusual, but these back-to-back losses have created circumstances that require additional time for healing and handling various estate matters.
I propose taking [number] weeks of leave, using a combination of bereavement days, personal time, and unpaid leave if necessary. I’ve documented all my current projects and prepared comprehensive handover materials.
During my absence, I suggest [colleague’s name] serve as my primary backup, with support from [other team member]. I’m committed to making this transition as smooth as possible.
I value my position here and look forward to returning when I’m able to contribute effectively. Thank you for considering this request.
Respectfully, [Sender’s name and position]
6. Anticipatory Bereavement – Planning Ahead
Subject: Upcoming Family Situation – Advance Notice
[Insert recipient’s address]
Dear [Manager’s Name],
I wanted to give you advance notice of a developing family situation. My father has been battling cancer, and his doctors have indicated that we may have only weeks left with him.
While he’s still fighting, I anticipate needing bereavement leave in the near future. Additionally, I may need occasional time off for medical appointments or family meetings during this period.
I’m sharing this information now so we can plan accordingly. I’ve started preparing handover documentation for my key projects and identifying coverage for my responsibilities.
I’ll keep you updated as the situation develops and will provide as much notice as possible when I need to take leave. Your understanding and flexibility during this challenging time means everything to my family and me.
Thank you for your continued support.
Warmly, [Your name and role]
7. Return from Bereavement – Professional Update
Subject: Returning to Work – Thank You
[Recipient’s address]
Dear [Supervisor’s Name],
I wanted to reach out before officially returning to work tomorrow to express my heartfelt gratitude for the compassion and flexibility you’ve shown during my bereavement leave.
The past [time period] has been incredibly difficult following my mother’s passing, but knowing I had your support allowed me to focus on my family without additional stress about work obligations.
I’m ready to return and re-engage with my responsibilities. I’ve reviewed the updates [colleague’s name] provided and feel prepared to resume my duties. Please know that I may still have occasional difficult moments as I continue processing this loss, but I’m committed to maintaining my professional standards.
If you’d like to schedule a brief meeting to discuss any changes or priorities that emerged during my absence, I’m available at your convenience.
Again, thank you for your understanding and support.
Best, [Insert sender’s name and designation]
8. Colleague’s Family Member – Requesting Time for Support
Subject: Personal Time Request – Supporting Grieving Colleague
[Insert recipient’s address]
Dear [Manager’s Name],
My close friend and colleague [name] recently lost their child in a tragic accident. As someone who has been part of their support system, I’m requesting time off to help them during this unimaginable time.
I would like to take [number] days to assist with practical matters like meal preparation, childcare for their other children, and simply being present during the funeral and immediate aftermath.
I understand this doesn’t fall under traditional bereavement leave since it’s not my immediate family. I’m prepared to use personal days or take unpaid leave. I’ve coordinated with [team member] to cover my essential tasks.
Sometimes being a good colleague extends beyond office walls. I hope you’ll consider supporting me in supporting them.
Thank you for your consideration.
[Your name and title]
9. Miscarriage or Infant Loss – Sensitive Communication
Subject: Medical/Personal Leave Request
[Recipient’s address]
Dear [HR Representative’s Name],
I am writing to request medical and bereavement leave following the loss of our pregnancy at [weeks] gestation. This has been devastating for my partner and me, and we need time to heal both physically and emotionally.
I anticipate needing [number] weeks off work. My doctor has recommended this timeframe for physical recovery, and we both need time to process this loss emotionally.
I understand that pregnancy loss may not be explicitly covered under standard bereavement policies, but I hope the company can show flexibility given the circumstances. I’m prepared to provide medical documentation if required.
[Colleague’s name] is aware of my situation and can handle urgent matters. I’ve prepared notes on all active projects and will ensure a smooth transition.
Thank you for your discretion and understanding during this private and difficult time.
Sincerely, [Sender’s name and role]
10. Military Family Loss – Formal Notification
Subject: Military Casualty Bereavement Leave Request
[Insert recipient’s address]
Dear [Commanding Officer/Manager’s Name],
I am formally notifying you of the death of my brother, Staff Sergeant [Name], who was killed in action while serving overseas. I received official notification from the Department of Defense yesterday.
As immediate family of a fallen service member, I am requesting military bereavement leave to participate in the dignified transfer ceremony, funeral services, and family support activities.
I anticipate needing [number] days initially, though additional time may be required depending on military protocols and family needs. I will provide updates as more information becomes available.
I have briefed [team member’s name] on critical operations and ensured all security protocols are followed for my absence. Please coordinate through them for any urgent matters.
I appreciate your support during this time of service and sacrifice.
Respectfully, [Your name and position]
Conclusion: Handling Bereavement Communication
These sample letters demonstrate that professional communication during grief doesn’t require you to hide your humanity. Each situation calls for its own approach, but honesty, clarity, and respect for both your needs and your employer’s operations create the foundation for understanding.
The key lies in balancing your vulnerability with practical information your employer needs. You’re not just requesting time off – you’re maintaining professional relationships during life’s most challenging moments. Keep copies of all correspondence, know your company’s policies, and don’t hesitate to advocate for the support you need while honoring your commitments where possible.